The Mystery of the London Cable Car

There is something deeply funny about the fact that London, a city held together by approximately 700 Tube lines, 19 different rail brands, several thousand buses and pure commuter rage, also decided it needed... a cable car.

Not through the Alps.

Not over a canyon.

Not even somewhere particularly scenic.

Just casually stretched across a slightly confused bit of East London like somebody accidentally dropped a ski resort onto the Docklands.

I’ve genuinely spent years wondering why it exists. Every time I see it on the Tube map I react like it’s an administrative error.

“Surely that can’t be real.”

And yet there it is. Floating majestically between the O2 and the Excel Centre. Two places famously connected by... absolutely no pedestrian demand whatsoever.

The thing that fascinates me most is the location. If you were designing a tourist attraction cable car for London, surely you’d stick it somewhere dramatic? Westminster to the Southbank. Tower Bridge to somewhere sensible. Imagine gliding over the Thames with Big Ben lit up at night like you’re in a Richard Curtis film sponsored by TfL.

Instead London placed it in the exact spot where the skyline mainly consists of corporate glass cubes and the lingering spirit of the 2012 Olympics.

It feels less like a transport decision and more like Boris Johnson lost a bet.