About The Wandering Couch Potato
From the Great White North to the End of the District Line
It is a truth universally acknowledged that life rarely goes according to plan, but ending up a long-term resident of the leafy London suburbs because of a chance encounter in a kingdom ruled by a cartoon mouse has to be up there with the more spectacular twists of fate.
I was born in Canada, a land of vast wilderness, polite apologies, and freezing winters. Yet, through a series of questionable life choices and a desire for adventure, I found myself working at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. It was a brief chapter of my life, primarily memorable for extreme humidity, subterranean staff tunnels, and meeting a girl named Allison.
Allison, a proud East Londoner, possessed a formidable power of persuasion. She successfully lured me away from the sunshine state and transplanted me directly into Hornchurch. I arrived with a suitcase and a healthy dose of Canadian bewilderment, fully expecting a brief British intermission. That was three decades ago. Classic London move. I am still here, beautifully confused by the British weather but utterly settled.
The Current Chaotic Household
Today, the suburban dream is fully realised. Our Hornchurch headquarters is currently populated by myself, the victorious Allison, our two daughters (who naturally rule the house with absolute authority), and a pint-sized tyrant disguised as a dog.
That would be Bruno, our Pomeranian. Bruno is a creature consisting entirely of fluff, attitude, and a stomach that defies the laws of physics. He is perpetually, tragically starving. If you drop a piece of toast in this house, you have approximately 0.4 seconds to retrieve it before it vanishes into the canine abyss. He views himself as the true master of the property, and frankly, none of us have the energy to argue with him.
Where to Find Me Online
When I am not wandering the streets with a camera, mourning the latest football results, or being ignored by my children, I can be found shouting into the digital void. Feel free to come and witness the irony, the sarcasm, and the occasional bit of photography over on the socials:





Comments
Post a Comment